


Count Your Little Fingers

by Lohrendrell



Series: The Journal Universe [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character Death, Family, Gen, Hospitalization, Past Relationship(s), Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 16:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3388811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lohrendrell/pseuds/Lohrendrell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke is seven years old, is in a hospital, and his uncle is dying. (Set in Madara's Journal Universe.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Count Your Little Fingers

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel for [Left in the Past (Rewrite the Future)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1234105) (ugh, I hate that title), depicting the last of Madara's days in the hospital through the eyes of seven years old Sasuke, but I think this prequel has more impact if you read the original story first. Many thanks to my beta-reader, A., who was there with me while I was crushing both of our souls.

Sasuke is seven years old, is in a hospital, and his uncle is dying. Each of these thing are just awful on their own, and together they are worse than when Ninja Hero was attacked by Akatsuki when he was all alone and bleeding for two days. But of all of them, the third thing definitely wins as the awfulest. Uncle Madara is his favourite uncle, the only adult in his entire life who ever stopped to watch cartoons with him and actually pay attention. He once told Sasuke he’s his favourite nephew as well, and Sasuke, who doesn’t think he has ever been anyone’s favourite anything, dreads the time Uncle Madara won’t be there to watch _The Tales of the Ninja Hero_ with him anymore.

The rest of their family don’t think he’s all that cool, though, so it’s only Sasuke, his parents and his brother keeping him company while he dies. Sasuke thinks they are all a bunch of poop squats for that, but Uncle Madara never seemed to care about their opinions, so he pretends he doesn’t, either. And to be quite honest, Sasuke is kinda relieved that they are not there; he always kept it a secret, but his other uncles and aunts always made him feel a bit antsy.

“Good morning, Uncle,” Sasuke’s mother greets as she enters room 691, a bag of groceries in her arms and a smile on her face. Trailing right after her, Sasuke and Itachi bow respectfully, as they were taught, before stepping into the room. “Sleep well?”

Uncle Madara looks like he just woke up, and all Mikoto gets as an answer is a grunt. It sounds a tad bit harsh and like he’s being rude, but it doesn’t get to her; that’s more or less like he always sounded, anyway.

“We know you’re tired of hospital food, so we brought you breakfast,” she announces happily, placing the bag on a small table in the corner of the room and pulling out the groceries they’d bought on their way to the hospital. “Nothing too fancy, but…” She lifts a small jar of peanut butter and winks. “Don’t tell anyone.”

Uncle Madara slightly shakes his head in approval and Sasuke immediately feels proud of himself. Buying him breakfast was his idea. He actually wanted to bring sushi, one of his uncle’s favourites, but his mother said no.

Slowly, he approaches the bed, warily eyeing the IV drop. Sasuke is nothing if not a brave boy, but a few days ago, when he first arrived at the hospital and saw all the tubes and needles attached to his uncle’s arms, he got afraid. It took him a whole day and a lot of soothing from Itachi, but in the end he was brave enough just like Ninja Hero and sat down beside Uncle.

Now, the medical apparels don’t scare him anymore, though he still feels a bit uneasy. Uncle Madara looks pale, paler than usual, and far thinner than when he used to take Sasuke to the park. His voice is hoarse, too, and because it hurts to talk, he does it as little as he can.

“Uncle,” Sasuke calls, climbing on the bed and sitting next to him, careful to not disturb the IV drop. “You think today you can teach me chess?”

“Sasuke,” Mikoto says before Uncle Madara can respond, “your uncle just woke up. Let him have breakfast, and then, if he feels like it, you two can play.”

He wants to argue, but her tone is final, so he doesn’t dare to try. By his side, Uncle Madara puts a hand on the top of his head. “Later,” he promises with a gruff voice. Pouting, Sasuke nods, and Uncle turns to the other side of the room. “Itachi,” he calls, extending his arm, and Sasuke’s brother, who had been quietly watching the exchange, comes to him. “Bathroom.”

Sasuke tries to help as he can, but he is too tiny and weak, so he mostly just watches as Itachi helps their uncle to get up and guides him into the bathroom, closing the door behind them. He turns to his mother, then.

“Can I help you?”

She’s separating the ingredients they bought on the store, and when she allows it, Sasuke helps her to fix them all breakfast: pure milk and bread with peanut butter for her, Itachi and him, and vegetables soup for Uncle instead of the regular oat porridge. Today he has a piece of bread as well, just a tiny one with very little peanut butter, but Uncle looks satisfied with it nonetheless.

He falls asleep right after finishing eating.

———

“Uncle,” Sasuke’s father calls when he enters the room later that morning. Usually he comes visit Uncle with them, but today he said he had someone to find, so he was a bit late.

From the floor, where Itachi and Sasuke had been silently playing checkers, Itachi shushes their father. “He’s asleep,” he whispers, and Fugaku stops.

“Oh.”

Their mother was knitting something in the chair in the corner of the room, but stops to focus on her husband. “Did you find him, love?”

Fugaku flashes her a proud smile. “Yes.” Both Mikoto and Itachi smile as well. Sasuke is at lost of why, but he imitates them. “He said he’d take the first flight available. He should be here tonight or tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, thank you!” Mikoto gets up and hugs Sasuke’s father. “Thank you, thank you. Such good news!”

Fugaku closes his arms around her. “It’s gonna be alright,” he says, and Sasuke feels himself breathing with relief. Five days ago, Father said Uncle’s situation was quite worrisome and that they had to be extra nice because it might be the last time, but now he’s saying everything’s gonna be alright, and whenever Father says that, Sasuke trusts to be true.

He looks at Itachi, who is looking back at him. “Who?” Sasuke whispers.

“A doctor Father wanted to check on Uncle.”

“He’s really great?”

Itachi grins. “He’s the best. The best of the best.”

“And he’s gonna take care of Uncle?” When Itachi nods, Sasuke can’t help feeling excited. “And then he can teach me how to play chess!”

Chuckling, Itachi nods again, but then puts a finger on his mouth, signalizing for silence.

Sasuke puts his hands in front of his mouth and checks to see if Uncle woke up. He didn’t, but the beeps of the big machine beside him are steady, so it’s okay.

———

“Itachi said he’s the best of the best,” Sasuke says on the phone — Itachi’s phone; he isn’t allowed to have one before he turns eleven, but Itachi lets him use his every once in a while. Mother’s rule, though, is that he can only make one call per week, especially if it’s Naruto he wants to talk to. Otherwise, their parents might go bankrupt with the phone bills alone (at least that’s what they said). “He’s getting here tonight or tomorrow.”

On the other side of the line, Naruto’s voice is loud, as usual. “So he’s gonna be okay?” He’s also using his older brother’s cell phone.

Sasuke nods, but then remembers Naruto can’t see it. “Yeah. Father said so.”

“Cool!”

“And then he’s gonna teach me how to play chess.”

“Not cool,” Naruto says, and then laughs at his own joke. “Hey, maybe your uncle is immortal like Hagoromo-sensei!”

“Hagoromo isn’t immortal,” Sasuke corrects him. “He’s just a soul from another dimension that talks to Ninja Hero. But he’s dead.”

“Well, it would be cool, anyway.”

Sasuke gives the idea some thought. It would be really cool, indeed.

———

“This is the king,” Uncle Madara explains to him the next morning. His voice is a little less gruffy, but now he’s having these cough attacks. “You have to protect him.” He pauses, coughs a little. “With all your pieces.”

From the other side of the room, Sasuke’s mother walks towards the bed. “Uncle, you wanna do this another time?” she asks, checking his forehead.

“I’m fine,” he answers. She tells him to just tell her whenever he’s done playing with Sasuke, retreating to her chair only when he promises he’ll do so, if that’s the case.

Sasuke is sitting crosslegged in the bed, right in front of Uncle Madara. He grabs the white king and analyzes it for a couple of seconds. “I can’t let it get captured, right?”

“No. It’s not like checkers. You don’t capture the king, you check it.” A pause, deep breath. He grabs another piece. “This is the queen. She’s the strongest, only loyal to your king.”

“She can move everywhere, right? Itachi told me.”

Uncle Madara nods. “She’s valuable. Think very hard before moving her.”

“Okay. Can we play now?”

Uncle explains all the other pieces before they start a match. Sasuke has the whites, so he gets to go first. Then it’s Uncle’s turn, then his again, and so forth. Soon one of Sasuke’s bishops gets captured.

“I thought we couldn’t capture the pieces in chess,” he argues, to which Uncle explains that that rule only applies to the king. Sasuke pouts, and captures one of the enemy pawns.

“Very good,” Uncle praises, but then captures Sasuke’s horse, and just a few movements later, he checks his king.

When Sasuke is about to move his king away from danger, the door opens and Sasuke’s father enters the room. An old man is walking right after him, and so is Itachi.

“Uncle,” Fugaku says, “there’s someone I want you to meet.”

The old man takes a few steps towards the bed. He is wearing one of those white doctor jackets and has long, greying hair that falls all the way to his waist, just like Uncle Madara’s, only that his hair is straighter. He gives Sasuke a smile as he approaches, and because he looks calm and cool, Sasuke smiles back.

“This is Dr. Senju,” Fugaku introduces, coming to stand on the other side of the bed. “I asked him to take a look on you and he agreed,” he finishes with a broad smile. Sasuke turns to Dr. Senju, wanting to ask if it’s really true that he’s the best of the best, but he doesn’t get a chance to.

“Madara!” Dr. Senju says. “My friend! So this is where you’ve been all this time. And you never told me.”

“You already know each other?” Mikoto inquires.

“Oh, yeah!” Dr. Senju laughs, pats Uncle Madara’s shoulder lightly and leaves his hand there. “Madara and I go all the way back to elementary school, isn’t that right? Though we hadn’t seen each other in so many years!”

“That’s just great!” Mikoto says. “Heaven’s on our side, Love,” she tells Fugaku, and Dr. Senju laughs loudly. His laughter kind of reminds Sasuke of Naruto’s, and he feels kinda relieved by that.

Happy, he turns to look at Itachi, who is on another corner of the room, but all that relief fades when he sees his older brother looking worriedly at their uncle. Sasuke turns to Uncle Madara, who doesn’t look happy at all: he’s not smiling, his face is all red and the beeping sounds of the big beeping machine are more frequent.

“Uncle?” Sasuke whispers worriedly, touching his uncle’s wrist. Uncle Madara looks at him, and there is something in his expression that Sasuke doesn’t know how to name, but it’s there — it’s like he’s not even seeing Sasuke there right in front of him, but seeing him is hurting him at the same time.

The adults keep talking, and when Dr. Senju says his name again, Uncle Madara snaps out of it.

“Go away,” he says, and the adults stop talking to look at him.

“Uncle?” Fugaku calls, unsure.

“Go away,” Uncle Madara snarls, menacing, turning to look at Dr. Senju straight in the eye. “I don’t want you here. Go away. Disappear!”

“Uncle, please,” Mikoto tries, coming near the bed and trying to touch Uncle Madara’s arm.

“No.” He jerks furiously, shrugging Mikoto’s and Dr. Senju’s hands away. “Get him out of my sight. Make him disappear. Go away!” His face is even redder, he’s louder and the beeping is worryingly even more frequent.

“Why are you saying that? Uncle, please.” Mikoto tries to reason with him, but it’s in vain. Uncle Madara keeps snarling at Dr. Senju and jerking on the bed, disturbing the IV drops and everyone in the room. Beside Sasuke, his legs keep moving too, as if he’s unconsciously trying to kick Dr. Senju out of the room, but despite the violence, they don’t hit Sasuke not even once.

The commotion doesn’t take more than a minute, but it’s enough to make two nurses come rushing into the room, immediately checking on Uncle Madara and snarling at everyone to leave. Sasuke doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t get a chance to protest; his father picks him up and takes him out of the room, away from his uncle.

Outside, the five of them stand in the middle of the corridor, looking at each other with startled faces. Sasuke is still on his father’s lap, not wanting to let go any time soon.

“He’s…” Dr. Senju starts, unsure, “always like that?”

“No,” Itachi answers. Mikoto touches his shoulder, asking if he’s okay, and when he says yes, she turns to the doctor.

“I’m not asking what that was all about,” she tells him. “But maybe you need to keep your distance from him.”

Dr. Senju looks down at his feet, nods and says, “I’m gonna need to order a few tests.”

“I’m… not sure that’s gonna work.”

Frowning, he looks back at her. “You two called me here.”

“Yes, and we’re grateful you attended our plea, Doctor. But I’m not sure that was the best idea anymore. He clearly doesn’t want you here.”

Dr. Senju looks offended for a moment, then sad, and then he recollects himself. “You said he has a degenerative disease, but the doctors still haven’t figured out what it is exactly. Look, I’ve made mistakes, I’m sure of it now. But I’m the best in the field, and I’m asking you. Let me try to take care of my good friend.”

Unsure, Mikoto stares at Dr. Senju for a few seconds, and then turns to Fugaku.

“The other doctors said it might be curable. That there might be a chance,” Sasuke’s father reasons. “He needs the treatment.”

After a moment, Mikoto sighs. “Alright.”

When the two nurses come out of the room, claiming that they were able to control Uncle Madara’s state and that he’s fine now, out of danger and resting, Dr. Senju takes the front, telling them he’s his new doctor now. They walk away through the corridor together, talking about doctor stuff that Sasuke doesn’t understand.

His father puts him on the floor, and Mother and him walk to the other side of the corridor, to the vending machine, leaving Itachi and Sasuke alone.

The white king still in his hand, Sasuke stares at the beige door with the numbers six, nine, and one in golden. He starts to think of that episode when Ninja Hero was waiting in the hospital when his sensei was in a surgery of life or death. He wonders if the way he feels right now is in anyway like how Ninja Hero felt.

Ninja Hero is very brave, the bravest of his kind. He doesn’t cry, ever; neither does Sasuke.

———

“Not again!” Sasuke whines when he realizes his king has been checkmated yet again.

Uncle Madara looks smug. It’s their third complete match, and his third victory. “You’re doing good,” he says, smirking at Sasuke, “but I’m still better.”

Sasuke gives him the tongue.

“Sasuke,” his mother reprimands, and, “Sorry,” Sasuke is obligated to say. Uncle Madara just laughs. His laughter, although still faint, is sounding much better, and he isn’t coughing as much now, probably because Dr. Senju changed some of the medicine he’s taking (Sasuke knows that because he eavesdropped him talking about it to his father a couple of days ago, but no one knows he knows that).

“Alright,” Mikoto says, getting up from the chair. “Pack your chessboard, honey. It’s time for us to go. Itachi must be waiting.”

“But it’s not even late yet,” he whines.

“Yes, it is. Look, it’s already dark outside.”

Sasuke looks outside the window, and sees she’s right. So he tries another tactic: “Uncle’s gonna be all alone tonight, it’s not fair.”

“Don’t worry about that, Father will stay with him tonight.”

“Can I stay too?”

“You already stayed yesterday, hun. I shouldn’t have let you, but I did, and now it’s time you take a nice shower and have a nice night of sleep, okay?”

Sasuke’s voice come high pitched when he whines, “But I wanna stay again!”

“Sasuke.” His mother eyes him intently, and Sasuke freezes. “I said no. Now pack your things and be ready. Don’t forget to use the bathroom before we leave. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mother,” Sasuke says. By his side, Uncle Madara doesn’t laugh, but he is smirking. Sasuke pouts at him. “Don’t laugh.”

Uncle Madara touches the top of his head. “I’m not. Do as your mother says. We’ll play more tomorrow.”

Sasuke nods, and even against his will, goes prepare himself to leave.

———

The city where Uncle Madara lives, and also where the hospital is, is also the city where the Mega Math Marathons (and several others) are hosted. Itachi always comes here to participate in those things, and even despite Uncle Madara’s situation, this year was not exception. Sasuke always likes when his big brother wins those things, but the bad thing about those contests is that he’s always left alone while Itachi and Mother go to them.

The good thing, usually, was that he always stayed with Uncle Madara. But the bad thing about that, this year, is that Uncle Madara is not in good conditions to take him to the park, or anywhere else, so Sasuke just stays with him in the hospital.

It’s a cloudy afternoon and Uncle Madara is sleeping. With nothing else to do (playing chess alone becomes boring after you finally learn it), Sasuke is left wandering aimlessly through the corridors of the hospital. He’s been there for a while already and never got himself in trouble, so the nurses and guards never bother him when he does that. He’s not hungry, so he doesn’t go to the cafeteria. Pediatrics is not in question either — the kids there are nice and fun, but sometimes they make him sad, and most of them are not good in chess or any other board game.

He’s turning a corridor in the maternity department, having decided for going to see the newborn babies, when he spots Father and Dr. Senju. Sasuke immediately goes back, hiding in the wall of the corridor he’d just came from and starts watching them. They are talking.

“I ordered the best tests out there,” Dr. Senju is saying. “Every single one I know. He’s done them all.”

“So,” Father starts, “you found out what he has?”

“I did.”

“Alright. Tell me.”

Dr. Senju tells the name of something, probably some disease, but it’s a long and complicated name and Sasuke can’t keep up with it.

Father nods a few times. “Be honest with me,” he pleads.

It takes several moments for Dr. Senju to answer. Finally, he sighs. “He’s terminal,” he says. Sasuke doesn’t know what that means, but judging from Father’s face, it’s not good. “I assure you, I’m gonna do the best I can to—”

“It won’t matter,” Father cuts in. “Will it?”

Resigned, the doctor sighs again. “Very little of what I do will matter.”

Silence. Both men are staring at the floor, and Sasuke feels like it’s time to go back to his uncle’s room and stay there with him as much as he can, maybe forever if possible, but it’s difficult for him to move right now.

Finally, Father nods a couple of times again. He passes his hand through his mouth, then his hair, takes a deep breath. “Please minimize his suffering as best as you can. Make him comfortable.”

“I’ll give the best of me.”

That’s when Sasuke is finally able to run away.

———

Sasuke pretends he’s asleep on his uncle’s bed when Father comes check on them. He doesn’t open his eyes, but hears Fugaku moving, stopping right beside the bed, and staying there.

A long time passes, but nobody moves. Eventually, Sasuke hears Father rearranging the thin blanket around him and Uncle Madara. He caresses Sasuke’s hair quickly, pulls his hand away but still doesn’t move.

More time passes. Then:

“I’m glad I had you to be my uncle,” he hears Father whispering, and quickly leaving the room right after.

Sasuke stays in the same position, but opens his eyes. He alternates between looking at his uncle, the window, and the white ceiling, until the door opens again. Sasuke doesn’t pretend he’s sleeping this time around, so he sees Dr. Senju slowly entering the room.

He smiles when he notices Sasuke. “You really love your uncle, don’t you?”

Sasuke doesn’t respond, doesn’t move, doesn’t do anything, just looks at him.

The doctor sighs. “We were good friends, once. A long time ago. Great friends,” his voice turns into a whisper, “Maybe we could’ve been more…” He turns his gaze to Uncle, and smiles. “He’s a really great person. The best kind you’ll ever find anywhere.”

He praises Uncle Madara a little more, and though Sasuke is not exactly following what he’s saying, he lets the man talk. When he thinks he’s done, he asks, “What does terminal mean?”

The doctor looks like he’s surprised by that question at first, but then he laughs. “You’re a very smart boy, aren’t you? Madara’s blood, indeed.” He waits a few moments, and then explains: “It means that you have to stay with him as much as you can, and try to make it the best time ever. Do you understand?”

“So he’s gonna die.”

Dr. Senju looks taken aback for a moment, but then, serious, he nods. “He will. Make sure he knows you love him very much.”

There’s silence for a few moments.

“Father said it was going to be okay.”

“It’s not your dad’s fault.”

“I know. It’s yours.” Sasuke frowns at the doctor. He feels angry, but it’s a complete different kind of anger than that of when Menma or Itachi or Naruto are messing with him. “You said you’re the best of the best, but you’re not.”

He expects to be scolded for back talking a grown up, to be grounded or forbidden to visit his uncle, but, “No,” Dr. Senju says, agreeing with him. “I’m not. I don’t think I ever was.”

Neither say another word after that. They just watch Uncle Madara’s peaceful face for a long time while he sleeps. Eventually, Sasuke falls asleep as well.

———

That night, the four of them go back home — it’s Uncle Madara’s home, actually, but Sasuke always called it home, anyway — and have dinner together. Mother and Father look gloomy, and after watching them for a few minutes Itachi starts looking the same. Neither of them mention Uncle Madara’s terminal state, and Sasuke realizes it’s because they think _he_ doesn’t know about that yet.

———

It takes a couple of days, but they eventually talk about it. Mother and Father explain to Sasuke and Itachi (yet again) that soon Uncle Madara won’t be there with them anymore, so they have to be even more extra nice, and answer all the phone calls because it’s probably their other relatives.

Several of them called, but Uncle spoke to only a few.

Itachi is speaking to Shisui a lot on the phone, and Mother said Sasuke could call up to three times a week anyone he wanted, too. Sasuke called Naruto a couple of times. He didn’t want to talk about his uncle, though, so they didn’t.

Sasuke is allowed to spend more nights in the hospital, now. Not the whole night, just the few hours before midnight. Father, Mother or Itachi are always there with him, and sometimes Dr. Senju is there, too. Since Uncle Madara is sleeping more and more each day, he’s playing chess a lot with the doctor. He excels in it almost as much as Sasuke’s uncle — while Sasuke and Uncle Madara’s scoreboard was left in zero to eleven, respectively, Sasuke and Dr. Senju’s is currently at one to seven.

Every night, when Sasuke and his family go home, Dr. Senju always stays with Uncle Madara. That’s what Father told them, at least.

———

Sasuke awakes one morning all alone in Uncle Madara’s home. He isn’t visiting Uncle today. Father had to go somewhere to do something, and Mother and Itachi went to another one of Itachi’s contests. She left a small amount of money, Itachi’s phone and a list of several important numbers for him on the kitchen counter, but he doesn’t touch any of those things.

He goes into the living room and turns the TV on a cartoons-exclusive channel. _The Tales of the Ninja Hero_ is on. Excited, Sasuke rushes to prepare himself a big bowl of cereal with a lot of milk, and then rushes back to the couch.

Ninja Hero is his hero, but, even though Sasuke missed watching the show these past few weeks, it’s with bitter understanding that he realizes it doesn’t seem interesting to him anymore. After half an episode, he can no longer watch it, so he turns off the TV and stares at the coffee table for a while.

Then, he gets up. Leaving the not-even-half eaten cereal bowl in the living room, he goes upstairs to the bedroom he’s sharing with Itachi. Quickly, he picks a pair of clean jeans from the closet and puts them on, along with the usual pair of tennis shoes.

He looks carefully into the list Mother left him, and calls the Taxi Company. He has to try twice, because the first lady who picked the phone didn’t want to send a cab to a child. The second one made him explain that he wanted to go to the hospital to visit his uncle.

Keys, phone, and cereal bowl in his hands, Sasuke is extra careful to lock all the windows and doors before leaving the house.

The cab that comes picks him up is a nice old lady that takes him straight to the hospital. She also makes Sasuke explain why he wants to go to the hospital and, once there, she doesn’t take his money and waits until he’s past the front door before driving away.

When he enters room 691, Uncle Madara is relaxed in his bed. Dr. Senju is with him.

“Sasuke?” Uncle Madara asks when he sees Sasuke standing by the door. “How did you get here?”

Sasuke bows as low as he can without dropping the milk from the bowl. He approaches the bed. “I took a cab.”

“You what?” Both men ask, stupefied. Sasuke repeats what he just said while he gives his belongings to Dr. Senju so he can climb on his uncle’s bed.

“Everyone’s out,” he elaborates his explanation a little more. “I came to see you.”

“Why didn’t you change from your pajamas, boy?” Dr. Senju asks, giving Sasuke the bowl back. Sasuke looks down at himself. He had put a pair of pants, but completely forgot about the shirt. He shrugs, and the doctor laughs loudly. “This one is definitely your nephew, Madara.”

Uncle Madara snorts, but doesn’t say anything. He looks seriously to Sasuke, who, for a moment, thinks he’s about to get scolded and be sent back home, but Uncle Madara just sighs. “Don’t do that again,” is all he says. Sasuke says alright, leaning on his uncle’s side and going back to his cereal. The flakes are all wet and pappy now, but he eats it anyway.

“This is adorable,” Dr. Senju says out of nowhere. Uncle Madara tells him to shut up.

The morning goes smoothly after that. The three of them don’t talk all that much, but play chess a lot. Uncle Madara and Sasuke gang up to beat Dr. Senju a few times, but Sasuke isn’t able to win against his uncle. After a few hours, Sasuke finds himself tired. He curls against Uncle Madara’s side and falls asleep.

When he wakes up, is to the sound of the two old men talking. Sasuke doesn’t know why, but he keeps pretending he is still asleep.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Dr. Senju is saying. “I understand you might never want to forgive me, but. But…”

“You just don’t want me to pass away hating you. You don’t want to bear the guilt.”

“Madara—”

“Hypocrite. You know nothing. I can’t decide if it appeases or infuriates me more.”

Dr. Senju doesn’t respond, and they fall silent for a long time.

“There’s something I think you should read,” Uncle Madara says, “but I don’t want you to.”

“What is it?” Silence. “Tell me.”

Uncle Madara takes several moments to answer, “No.”

“Madara…”

“No.”

Silence. Slowly, Dr. Senju starts again: “Would you believe me if I said I never forgot you? This whole time, I—”

“Stop,” Uncle Madara snarls. “Don’t say any more. Leave.”

“Madara…”

“Leave.” Uncle Madara turns on his side, curling around Sasuke and pulling him closer.

“Madara, please, just listen to me.”

“My nephew is trying to sleep. You’re disturbing him. Leave.”

Dr. Senju doesn’t say anything, but Sasuke doesn’t hear him leaving immediately. It takes a couple of minutes until he hears the sounds of the man getting up, walking to the door, opening and closing it.

When he finally leaves, Uncle Madara exhales the breath he was holding. He breathes in and out a few times, harshly. It kinda sounds like he is crying, but Sasuke suddenly is too afraid to find out, so he doesn’t open his eyes, doesn’t move.

Soon Uncle Madara calms down, and Sasuke waits a few more minutes to pretend he just woke up.

They spend the rest of the day all alone, talking, playing and watching TV. Sasuke’s cartoons aren’t on, but they are content enough with the dumb movies that are being aired.

When Sasuke’s parents learn of what he did, they don’t look happy, but they don’t scold or punish him. They just try to make him promise that he won’t do it again.

Sasuke stays silent. They don’t insist.

———

Sasuke is curled beside his uncle in the hospital bed, leaning his head on the old man’s shoulder and reading a comic book while Uncle reads another. They have been all alone the whole morning, and spent most of those hours like that. Sasuke still hasn’t beaten Uncle Madara in chess, but he’s getting kinda tired of board games.

“Uncle?” Sasuke asks after a long time of silence. His uncle doesn’t respond right away, and Sasuke looks up to make sure he still awake. He is. “Can I ask a question?”

He looks down at Sasuke, expressionless. Uncle Madara always had this about him, an air of seriousness that many confuse with irritation. It scares most of the people in their family away, especially the children, but not Sasuke.

“Can I?” he insists. Finally, Uncle Madara relents.

“What is it?”

“Why do you let Dr. Senju stay here with you if you hate him so much?”

The question may have taken Uncle Madara by surprise, because he stares at Sasuke for a long while before closing his eyes and sighing. “I don’t hate him.”

“No?”

Uncle shakes his head. “Hate is the farthest of what I feel for him.” He whispers the last sentence: “Of what I always felt.”

Sasuke cocks his head. “Then why—”

“Sasuke.”

“Yeah?”

“You are a very intelligent boy. Anyone ever told you that?”

Sasuke nods. Everyone is always telling him that.

“Good. You are an intelligent person, much more intelligent than most people might realize. Keep that in mind.”

“Okay,” Sasuke says, feeling a bit smug. He smiles at his uncle, but he doesn’t smile back.

“Let me tell you something. I want you to remember this for the rest of your life. Do not let someone else tell you what you can and cannot do. Don’t live by other people’s standards. Cherish your loved ones. Do you understand?”

Sasuke doesn’t, not really. He doesn’t know what ‘standards’ means and he’s always being told what to do by Mother and Father and every other adult he knows, and if he doesn’t obey them, he gets grounded.

But he nods at his uncle nonetheless, and says, “Yes.”

“Promise me you’ll remember it.”

“I promise, Uncle.”

Uncle Madara puts his arms around Sasuke and brings him closer. He rests his forehead on the top of Sasuke’s head, breathes in his hair. It’s a comfortable position, Sasuke concludes, and goes back to read his comic book. They stay like that for a good amount of time.

———

Uncle Madara dies late at night. It’s Mother who tells Sasuke the happening, and also that Dr. Senju was with him until the very last second.

Sasuke never gets to beat him on chess.

The funeral takes place the very next day. It’s an elegant yet simple affair. Everyone in the family shows up and Sasuke doesn’t leave Itachi’s side. Dr. Senju comes, too, after insisting on helping to organize everything. He looks wretched, hapless, forlorn — but Sasuke doesn’t know any of those words yet, so he mentally describes him just as sad.

Sasuke doesn’t cry that day, or that night, or the days after. He cries only a week later, when _The Tales of the Ninja Hero_ marathons on the TV and he can’t stand to watch it alone for more than five minutes. Itachi is the only one who sees it.

———

Naruto’s older brother, Kurama, answers the door when Itachi and Sasuke ring the bell, weeks after they have come back to their hometown. “Hey,” he greets, smiling warmly at them. “How you guys doing?”

“Okay,” Itachi says at the same time Sasuke shrugs. Kurama chuckles and retreats back to his home, yelling his younger brother’s names.

Naruto and Menma come down the stairs as if they were a couple of lighting bolts running from a hurricane.

“Sasuke!” Naruto yells, hugging Sasuke really, really, _really_ tight. Menma goes for Itachi. “I missed you!”

“Dumbass,” Sasuke murmurs against Naruto’s ears, hugging him nonetheless.

“Stop it, it’s my turn!” Menma yells on their side, forcefully pushing them so they separate. Then, he hugs Sasuke, but it’s much lighter and quicker.

“So,” Kurama starts, coming back from inside the house and closing the door behind him. He puts his wallet and keys in his pockets and eyes the kids (as he’s been calling all of them, including Itachi, lately). “Who’s ready for ice cream?”

“I want cake!” Menma protests, to which Itachi voices his agreement.

“Alright,” Kurama says, laughing. “Today we can get anything you guys want. My treat.” He winks at Sasuke and Itachi, but Menma and Naruto are the ones who celebrate. They immediately start listing everything they’ll want to eat and do and buy, and Kurama eyes them with annoyance. “Alright, forget what I said.”

The twins’ protests don’t change his decision, and he guides everyone away from their home, which is only a couple of blocks away from Itachi and Sasuke’s.

“Hey, lil’ guy,” Kurama says to Sasuke when they are already in the street, walking in the direction of the nearest candy store. “How about a piggyback ride?”

Before Sasuke can say anything, Kurama lifts him up and puts him on his shoulder. Kurama is a whole ten years older than him, and taller than every other adult Sasuke ever met, except maybe Kurama and Naruto and Menma’s dad. His hair is red like his mother’s, and long like Uncle Madara’s and Dr. Senju’s. Sasuke thinks it’s nice and beautiful, and pulls the red strands as if they were horse-riding reins. The twins nearly die from laughter at that, but Kurama doesn’t get mad, and when Sasuke tells him he’d rather have lemonade instead of cake or ice cream and Kurama says that’s fine, Sasuke starts feeling a little bit better.


End file.
